


come close (let me show you everything I know)

by goldengrahams



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Autistic Caleb Widogast, Autistic Essek Thelyss, Caleb and Essek are fucking nerds, Drug Use, Emotional Support Animal Frumpkin, Enthusiastic Consent, Essek Thelyss Has Chronic Pain, Established Relationship, Hand Jobs, M/M, Oral Sex, Past Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Porn with a little plot but barely, Recreational Drug Use, Strap-On Handjob, Strap-Ons, The Assembly was a cult, Top Caleb Widogast, Trans Caleb Widogast, Trans Essek Thelyss, Trans Male Character, Unecessary World-Building, Vaginal Sex, medical drug use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:54:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29151585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldengrahams/pseuds/goldengrahams
Summary: “Are you still doing alright?” Caleb nods, and Essek can feel how warm his cheeks and ears are.“Ja, I am fine. Ah… in the interest of satiating curiosity, though,” he says, a callback to Essek’s teasing line a few minutes ago. Essek nods, prompting him to continue. Caleb squirms a little, rubbing his palms and fingers against the knees of his pants in a comforting motion before one moves to his jaw, rubbing in the same repetitive manner. “Do you often feel... very horny when you’re high?” Essek blinks. Oh. Oh. So Caleb isn’t paranoid or uncomfortable, then.Or: Modern AU Caleb and Essek get stoned on Essek's dispensary supply and enthusiastically fuck
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 14
Kudos: 91





	come close (let me show you everything I know)

**Author's Note:**

> TItle from "Gooey" by Glass Animals
> 
> Alright, so a few things to get out of the way really quick!
> 
> Essek has chronic pain in this fanfiction, as I do. His chronic pain stems from an emotionally abusive home. He smokes weed from a dispensary for this. Caleb is a survivor of a cult that sometimes employed the use of mind-altering drugs and medication, hence his trauma surrounding that. There are in-depth descriptions of smoking from a bong and being high in this fanfiction. They are under the influence of drugs in this fanfiction, but all the sex that happens only happens with enthusiastic consent. Essek does not pressure Caleb into smoking at all but there is a little bit of anxiety surrounding the possibility before he does it.
> 
> Also, they are both non-op trans men in this fanfiction. Essek is pre-T. I'm a non-op pre-T trans man (dating a trans man) myself. I used words like clit and cunt pretty liberally and I do refer to Essek's chest as breasts at least once, so if that makes you uncomfortable feel free to click away. Essek experiences very little dysphoria and Caleb experiences very little since starting T. There is an extremely brief mention of body issues but they're not exactly dysphoria-related and are mostly speculation on Essek's part. 
> 
> All that aside, this one got away from me. It's long and horny and self-indulgent and unbetaed and caters mostly to me, but I hope you enjoy it too!

It’s a lazy night in the apartment and they’re cuddled under one of Essek’s blankets, the big soft one covered in physics equations that Beau bought him for his last birthday because it ‘seemed like the kind of nerd shit he would appreciate’. He did appreciate it, though. He and Caleb had fucked on it a time or two but they weren’t going to tell Beau that. Besides, they washed it. Essek is leaned against the warm curve of Caleb’s body and they’re both blissfully full of leftover stir fry, simply enjoying each other’s company as they play their respective video games.

Essek pauses his game, stretching his legs out slowly and wincing as he hears his knees crack. Caleb snorts and takes a sip of his tea, adjusting his reading glasses gently on his nose.  
  
“I will never not be horrified by the fact that you can crack your _knees_ ,” Caleb says.   
  
“My elbows, ankles and hips as well,” Essek says with a touch of mirth. “I’m aware of how much you adore when I do my routine set of body cracks before we go to bed.”  
  
“Adore is one word for it,” Caleb chuckles, kissing him on the cheek, close enough to his ear that it reflexively flicks. “I just worry sometimes when I hear it, but if it makes you feel better, I encourage it. Do you want me to rub the balm on your knees?” Essek sighs softly and shakes his head on instinct. He always feels bad accepting Caleb’s offers of massages and the like. It feels like something he has to earn and he still struggles with reminding himself that Caleb just _wants_ to-- because he loves him.  
  
“Mmmm. You don’t have to. Maybe before bed?” Caleb nods and kisses him again, his expression so endearingly genuine that it makes Essek’s stomach flutter with giddy affection..

“Of course,  _ Schatz _ ,” he says. 

“I love you,” Essek tells him, a casual admittance in their relationship at this point, though it used to be a point of anxious and quiet contention. “With that in mind, though, I might smoke a little, if that’s alright with you? I can go outside if you can’t be around it right now.” 

“That is more than fine,” Caleb says. “I have Frumpkin here just in case--” he pets his tabby’s head gently, earning a chirp of happiness. Frumpkin acts as an emotional support animal for Caleb, grounding him when he has flashbacks or other relapses. He’s a smart boy, and Essek is terribly fond of him, just like he is of his owner. “And besides, I have been doing well lately. I appreciate you asking, though.” Essek kisses him on the cheek and grabs his cane as he gets up to prepare his things. Caleb turns his head to the side, catching Essek before he goes and kissing him on the lips.

“I’ll always ask,” Essek says firmly. “Until the day you tell me not to anymore.” Caleb’s eyes crinkle in a pleased almost-laugh, and he turns back to his game as Essek slips into the other room.   
  
He quickly gathers everything except his pipe, indecisive at first. He eventually decides on the smaller of his two bongs, an adorable squat thing made of lavender glass with a geometric chamber. He fills the device with water before rejoining Caleb in the living room, leaning a little against him as he prepares it. It doesn’t take him long anymore before he has a well-packed bowl. He rests the device in his lap and presses his mouth to the mouthpiece. He flicks the lighter once, twice before the flame holds, then brings it to the bowl and holds it until he can see the bud start to glow and burn. He holds until he has enough and gently pulls the bowl out of its spout, feeling the vapor fill his lungs. He lets out a small sigh, the smoke leaving with it, and takes a sip from his water bottle. He sighs softly before settling back against Caleb’s side and unpausing his game. He glances up at Caleb, who has zoned out from his game and is idly petting Frumpkin. He sees that spark of curiosity in Caleb’s eyes that he loves so dearly, the hungry glint of a man who wants to experience, investigate and understand. He supposes he’s only surprised it took this long. He waits for Caleb to breach the subject, though. Caleb’s history with mind-altering substances is far from positive, so for him to even act curious is not something worth taking lightly.  
  
“Can I, ah…” Caleb takes a deep breath and glances at the bong. Essek sees the confidence go out of him all at once. “What is it like?”   
  
“Do you want to try it?” Essek asks quietly. He worries that maybe he’s crossed a line, but Caleb doesn’t seem upset. He blinks and seems to regain some of that intrigued glint.  
  
“I… I admit I’ve been curious for a while. I think I might… prefer edibles, though. I’ve seen the way you cough when you take too hard of a hit.” Essek considers that.

“That is fair,” he says. “But I’m going to be honest. If you want to try it I wouldn’t go with edibles for the first time. They’re sort of… hit or miss and I don’t want you ending up with a bad high or ending up higher than you want to be if you don’t like it. We can smoke a bowl or a bong. A bong is smoother to take in but it will get you higher and do so faster.” He can see Caleb’s eyes flicker, the anxiety clear in his expression. “Caleb, baby. You don’t have to do it, I’m just telling you the possibilities if you do want to.” Caleb nods slowly. 

“I  _ am _ curious,” he reiterates. “Many of my friends smoke, Caduceus is a reputable dispenser and it clearly has no ill effect on your personality or your wonderful, brilliant brain, so…” he shakes his head. “I am just… it is hard to separate…” Essek reaches over to squeeze his hand. 

“I know,” he says softly. “I promise this is nothing like that, it’s a very different effect. I’ve taken it for years without any of the things you described, but I’m leaving the choice up to you.” Caleb nods slowly. “If you take the tiniest bit and decide you don’t like it, you don’t have to keep going, and I’ll be here for you until you feel one-hundred-percent sober again.” 

“You just seem so…  _ relaxed _ when you’re high. I… want to know what that feels like.” Essek nods and reaches over to gently squeeze Caleb’s hand.

“It isn’t for everyone, and I’m not going to act like it will fix anything and everything. For me personally, however, it has been an incredibly helpful and freeing option. My brother takes it for his migraines and you know I was very hesitant at first, but since then I… I feel like a different person. In a good way.” Caleb nods and releases a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.  
  
“I know,” he says. “I remember you telling me that was one of the most important conversations you’ve ever had with him. I’m glad you finally tried it and that it’s been such a positive thing for you and your pain, and even if I don’t like it, I’ll continue to see it that way for you. I won’t let any… untoward feelings permeate our relationship. We are different people and if it turns out that I don’t like taking it myself, I don’t have to take it again.”

  
“Exactly,” Essek says soothingly. “And I’ll never try to talk you into trying it again.”   
  
“You never did before,” Caleb says. “I don’t expect that to change. I trust you.” He pauses his game and tucks his Switch into its case, zipping it shut before scooting closer to Essek. “So… of my options, I think I would like to try a bowl first.” The shakiness has left Caleb’s hands and he seems genuinely confident. Sure of himself. Excited, even.

“That’s smart.” Essek pauses. “Are you absolutely sure? I don’t want you to feel pressured. You know I would never make you do anything you didn’t want to do.” Caleb chuckles.

“ _ Ja _ , I’m very sure,” he says. “ _ Danke  _ for… for checking in, though. I always appreciate it.” He kisses Essek firmly but slowly-- perhaps with a little more heat than normal. Essek giggles and can’t help himself from dipping in for another quick kiss after the first.

“Let me grab a bowl,” he says. Caleb shakes his head.

“I can,” he says. “I know where they are.” Essek nods, secretly very grateful. Essek has been a little stressed with work lately and it’s been affecting him more than he’d care to admit. Even getting up to get the bong earlier had been its own type of agony. While Caleb is gone Essek sets to grinding up some more bud.

Caleb comes back not a few moments later, one of Essek’s smaller bowls held in his hand, the one patterned with a blue and pink galaxy design. Jester bought that one for him as well, claiming she had no choice since it was ‘trans colors’. He loved it, though, and admittedly, Essek had fallen into that trap many times himself. Things were simply cuter when they were pink, white and blue. They were the only colors Essek consistently wore other than black and dark purple. Caleb looks a little nervous again, but not in a bad way, just curious and unsure.

“Will this one be big enough?” he asks. Essek nods.

“It should be fine, yes. If not, we can always pack it again.” Caleb nods slowly and then gives a small, nervous chuckle, setting his hand on Essek’s wrist as Essek twists the grinder.

“Is it too late to go for the bong?”

“Not too late at all,” Essek assures him. “I haven’t even packed it yet. We can finish off what I packed for myself in the bong if you’d like to.” Caleb nods.  
  
“That seems like a good plan,” he says. He takes a deep breath. “Is it… does it hurt?” Essek considers the question.

“A little, if you take too hard a hit, but that’s more just the lack of air burning your throat. Just go slow at first and I think you’ll be alright.” Caleb nods.

Essek can tell he’s still nervous but he takes the bong from Essek anyway. There’s a sense of powerful, loving trust in his gaze as he allows Essek to arrange his hands on the bong. 

“So you’ll fit your mouth into this part and while your mouth is still sealed over it, you light the little bowl of weed on the side here.” His hands are gentle, careful, never pushing or forcing Caleb’s movements. Caleb does as directed. “I’m going to light it now, okay?” Caleb gives a slight nod, small enough not to dislodge his mouth. Essek lights the weed until he sees it start to burn. “Now I’m going to let some smoke build inside. You don’t have to take all of it, take as big of a breath as you’re comfortable with.” He waits until enough has built and then pulls the bowl out. There’s maybe two small hits or one larger hit in the chamber, certainly enough to give Caleb a decent buzz for his first time. “Inhale, but not too hard. If your throat starts to burn you can pull off even if you haven’t gotten all the smoke.” Caleb nearly gets all of it before he pulls back. Essek chuckles. “You can exhale it, you don’t have to hold it in your mouth.” Caleb does so quickly and blinks into the cloud of smoke that comes out.

“Huh,” he says. Essek takes the bong from him and takes a hit of his own. It’s nice and smooth-- he put the perfect amount of water in this time.

“How are you feeling?” he asks Caleb.

“I don’t think it’s hit yet,” Caleb replies. He wiggles a little in his seat. “My throat does hurt a little but it’s not bad.” Essek giggles.

“Yes, you get used to it.” He sets the bong aside, not wanting to tempt himself or Caleb until Caleb has let the first high set in. “It should only take a few more minutes.” He leans against Caleb. “Do you want to play some more video games?” 

“Mmmm,  _ Nein _ , I’m alright. I want to see what this feels like unfiltered.” Essek smiles fondly, understanding Caleb’s thought process.

“What’s the point of satiating curiosity with extraneous variables muddling the results?” 

“ _ Ja, ja,  _ exactly,” Caleb says, his hands wiggling as though he’s about to start flapping them. He settles against Essek as well, comfortable in their silence. “Mmm. I feel… soft. Like my head is sort of fuzzy.” Essek grins and giggles a little.

“Yes, that means it’s starting to set in,” he tells Caleb.

“You were right, this is nothing like that. I feel very comfortable.” Caleb smiles, a small giggle burbling out of him. 

“Ah, giggly Caleb has arrived,” Essek says fondly, kissing him on the cheek. “You know, I think you might find being high similar to being tipsy. Maybe even a little better.” Caleb grins dopily.

“Can I take a little more?” Essek nods and reaches over for the bong, settling it into Caleb’s lap. Caleb’s hands wrap around it, ensuring it won’t tip.

“Just be careful. Did you see how I did it?” Caleb nods, determined. Essek watches curiously, proud but unsurprised to see Caleb handle the next hit with ease. Caleb is a fast learner, especially visually, and he forgets almost nothing. Essek lets him suck for a moment, watching cloudy white smoke build inside the bong. He taps Caleb’s shoulder and Caleb pulls the bowl out, coughing a little before dipping his head back down to take the last of the smoke. He exhales quickly, choking on another cough.

“ _ Scheiße, _ ” he hisses. “Sorry, I took a little too much.” Essek rubs his back gently in small circles.

“No, it’s alright,” Essek says. “Is your throat okay? Would you like some water?” Caleb nods.

“Water would be nice. I can have a little more of my tea as well. It’s probably more lukewarm now, though.” He sips it and tilts his head to the side, surprised. “Still pretty hot,” he corrects himself. Essek chuckles and hands Caleb his water bottle to sip if he’d like. 

“Luckily the throat soreness shouldn’t last terribly long,” Essek assures him. “Unless you cough really hard, it usually passes within the hour.” Caleb nods, sipping water. 

“I can already feel it passing,” he says. “Now I just have to get used to… this.” He spaces out a little, his eyes unfocused and looking at the corner of the room. “Does your body normally feel like this when you’re high? I feel… really light. I’m a little more aware of my back and shoulders but...not in a painful way, just… aware.” Essek nods.

“That’s what’s called a ‘body high’ as opposed to a ‘head high’, it’s a matter of which strain you’re getting--” he cuts himself off. “But that’s not important. Yes, that’s normal. It happens to me all the time.” Caleb blinks, nodding as he takes in this information. They lapse into comfortable silence again, Caleb kissing Essek on the cheek and then nuzzling against his neck. Essek takes one more hit and then sets the bong, nearly used up at this point, to the side. Caleb swallows and starts to fidget a little, seemingly uncomfortable. Essek wonders if he’s feeling paranoid. He’s never experienced it himself but he knows that’s an effect for some people. “Are you still doing alright?” Caleb nods, and Essek can feel how warm his cheeks and ears are.

“ _ Ja, _ I am fine. Ah… in the interest of satiating curiosity, though,” he says, a callback to Essek’s teasing line a few minutes ago. Essek nods, prompting him to continue. Caleb squirms a little, rubbing his palms and fingers against the knees of his pants in a comforting motion before one moves to his jaw, rubbing in the same repetitive manner. “Do you often feel... very horny when you’re high?” Essek blinks. Oh.  _ Oh.  _ So Caleb isn’t paranoid or uncomfortable, then. 

“Most of the time, yes,” he says. “I never wanted to tell you in case you were uncomfortable with that, but… yes, that’s also very common.” Caleb nods, biting his lip, then rubs his face in his hands. 

“I am sorry, I just… I feel like I made things uncomfortable now. We weren’t even planning for anything tonight, and I don’t wish to make you feel…” he trails off and Essek fills the anxious, empty space by kissing him gently on the lips. It grows slightly heated when Essek nips Caleb’s lower lip-- but doesn’t go further than that as Essek doesn’t want to coerce Caleb into doing anything he isn’t prepared for both mentally and physically.

“Cay, plans or no plans I’m happy to do whatever you’re comfortable with, with the caveat that we’re careful with my knees and hips.” Caleb nods quickly, his cheeks and ears turning a little more pink.

“I wasn’t… my mind wasn’t going toward anything rough, even if I know you like that sometimes.” Essek flushes dark purple but is unable to disagree. “I was thinking about fooling around with you at some point tonight, honestly,” he murmurs, “even before we got high. I feel like I haven’t gotten the chance to spoil you lately.” Essek giggles.

“Nonsense. You made me stir fry today.”

“From a box,” Caleb adds, something well within Essek’s knowledge as he had watched the process while petting Frumpkin and finishing some class notes. 

“But you still made it and let me rest, and that means more than you know.” Caleb’s eyes soften, crinkling a little at the corners.

“Does being high make you sappy as well?” he asks. Essek laughs.

“I think it removes a little bit of a filter, makes you feel a little less shameful about admitting things, so… sort of.” Caleb smiles, leaning into Essek’s space a little, waiting to hear any debate the action might draw before kissing Essek firmly. Essek groans softly into his mouth, feeling a similar stir of heat to what Caleb had asked him about earlier. He’s so used to it now he barely notices it, but it’s hard not to notice how wet he’s getting with an extremely lovely man almost in his lap, kissing him fiercely and tenderly in equal measure.

“Well then… shame aside, filter aside,” Caleb says softly, tilting Essek’s chin up. “I will freely admit that I would very much like to eat you out, if you’re amenable?” Essek makes a quiet, wounded noise in his throat. 

“Please,” he says. “Not to be dramatic but I think I might die if I don’t have your mouth on me soon.” Caleb giggles, his hand flapping at his side a little. Caleb is still a little giddy from two hits, then. “You know,” Essek says conversationally as Caleb begins to kiss his neck and jaw, “orgasms are a little different when you’re high.” Caleb makes a noise of acknowledgement against his skin, as though encouraging him to elaborate. "What you said about your shoulders earlier… basically you're only aware of where there's a lot of sensation happening, and that can include…" he swallows a moan as Caleb gently nips the soft curve of his jaw.

"Good," Caleb breathes. "Do you think that will make you cum more easily?" Essek shakes his head. 

"It's just more intense," he informs Caleb, squirming a little and rubbing his thighs together as he nips the same spot again. "Feels like it--  _ mhhah--  _ lasts a little longer too."

"Fascinating," Caleb says, his eyes bright with new information. "Can I help you undress? Or would you rather move to the bedroom?"

"Bedroom," Essek says. "We'll take the bong with us so we can take more if we want, but that will be better for my legs than fucking on the couch." Caleb grins, his hands wiggling at the wrist and fingers. 

"Not to mention all the toys are in there." Essek flushes dark purple at the implication rife in Caleb’s voice.

“Well then? Let’s go,” Essek says, pushing himself up onto his feet. Caleb clicks his tongue to Frumpkin, pointing him to his bed so they aren’t walked in on. Essek grabs the bong in one hand, hoping Caleb will be able to grab everything else. His wheelchair is on the way to the bedroom and halfway there he switches to that from his cane. He hadn’t wanted to use it earlier since he had known he was returning swiftly to the living room, but now that they’re heading to the bedroom for sex, there’s a good chance he should move it there for tomorrow. He and Caleb both usually fall asleep after sex when they do so this late in the night. When he gets to the room, he sets the bong on the bedside table and crawls into bed, laying back with a pleased smile on his face as Caleb follows him in. Caleb seems to have taken the unspoken initiative, grabbing the rest of their things. He sets some of it on the bedside table and some on his desk, too full of single-minded focus to put them in their proper places right now. Caleb stops at the edge of the bed for a moment, his eyes wide and pupils blown as he looks at Essek.

“You’re beautiful,” he murmurs, settling gently on the bed and crawling toward Essek. He holds himself on locked elbows over Essek, leaning in to kiss him again. Essek whines softly, reaching his hands up to tangle in Caleb’s hair. 

“That’s high praise coming from someone who looks as handsome as you do,” Essek presses a kiss to Caleb’s jaw. “Now, not to be impatient, but I believe there was talk of you eating me out?” Caleb laughs, kissing him again, and Essek moves his hands down to begin unbuttoning his shirt.

“There was,  _ ja _ ,” Caleb agrees, sitting back a little to slip his own shirt off. “Would you like any help with that?” He gestures to Essek’s current action of divesting himself of his clothing and Essek cocks an eyebrow, shaking his head.

“You have your own clothes to worry about, Widogast.” Essek finishes unbuttoning his shirt, leaving his sports bra on for now. Bad pain days usually mean he can’t wear his binder, a fact that only bothers him when it comes to the perceptions of others. But in here, with Caleb looking at him reverently, he couldn’t care less. It takes a bit of finagling with his body to pull the button-up off his arms, but he succeeds and turns to his pants, shimmying them off as best he can. Caleb has finished undressing, though he’s left his binder and grey and blue floral boxer briefs on, and is watching Essek patiently. Essek clears his throat awkwardly. “Yes, so… I might need your assistance after all,” Essek admits. “I would just rather not bend at the hip to sit up and take these off, so help would be appreciated.”

“Of course,” Caleb says, immediately moving to help. He tugs the waistband down and over Essek’s legs before moving to his underwear. “These as well?” Essek nods.

“If you still want to eat me out, yes. It might be rather hard to do so otherwise.” Caleb chuckles.

“ _ Ja _ , alright. Don’t get smart with me,  _ Liebchen _ .” Caleb begins to pull Essek’s underwear down and Essek squirms, giving a chirp of laughter and a sardonic smile.

“On the contrary, smart is one of my defining qualities. I will try my hardest, though, at your request.” Caleb laughs along with him, though his attention quickly turns to the task at hand.

“You’re so wet,” Caleb murmurs. Essek’s underwear is only down to his knees but Caleb can’t help but swipe his fingers across Essek’s clit. Essek twitches in surprise, moaning.

“You sound surprised,” Essek huffs, blushing. Caleb shakes his head, pulling his underwear the rest of the way off and ducking his head down to lap hungrily at Essek’s cunt. Essek whimpers, his back arching a little as his hand finds Caleb’s hair. “Warn a man, gods.”

“My apologies,  _ Schatz _ ,” Caleb says, looking utterly unapologetic. He dips his head back down, continuing with more fervor this time as Essek makes lovely noises above him. 

Caleb approaches sex with the same dedication that he approaches learning and reading with, and to have that intensity focused all on you can be a bit overwhelming at times. This time, though, with their senses dulled, Caleb moves slower and gentler and Essek, though his sensation is heightened, feels relaxed enough to sink pleasurably into Caleb’s undivided attention.

“You have such a nice mouth,” Essek mumbles, rolling his hips. Caleb’s beard drags against his sensitive thighs and he whimpers, his hand moving to his mouth. Caleb chuckles into his cunt, the pleasant vibrations making the sensation all the better. “Mmm, I think I’m gonna take another hit, hang on.”

“I’ll join you in that,” Caleb says. Essek grins, carefully sliding up the pile of pillows into a sitting position. 

“If you’re indulging in more, I have something to show you,” Essek says, smiling like he has a wonderful secret. He reaches over for the bong but finds his arms just a touch short. Caleb indulges him, reaching over for it.

“Do you need to grind more?” He asks, and Essek chuckles, wiggling his toes in excitement.

“I’d love to grind with you,” he teases, giving Caleb a cheeky grin. Caleb rolls his eyes, handing Essek the bong and kissing him again as he sets it in his lap. 

“You know that’s not what I meant,” he says. 

“No, though, to answer your question,” Essek says. “I’ve already ground up enough, I might just need to pack some more in the bowl. I might need to empty it, though, if you don’t mind getting me the trash can?” Caleb nods, crawling out of bed to grab the bathroom trash. Essek takes one last hit to make sure it’s empty before he pulls the bowl out and scrapes at it with his fingernail, tapping it against the side of the trash and watching the ash flutter to the bottom. Caleb hands him the grinder and he starts to pack another bowl. 

“So what were you going to show me?” Caleb asks, bright and giddy like a schoolboy. Essek gives another cryptic grin and grabs the lighter. He lights another hit, taking in the smoke before pulling out the bowl. As soon as he’s done so, he leans over and kisses Caleb, releasing the smoke sloppily into his mouth. Caleb moans, his hands sliding around Essek’s small waist and pulling him closer. 

“Mm,” Essek groans. “I guess that doesn’t work as well as I thought but it’s pretty hot.” Caleb blinks at him, eyes wide and face flushed red. 

“It is,” he agrees. “Gods, you’re so hot.” He pulls Essek in to kiss him again, one of his hands sliding between Essek’s legs to rub his clit again. 

“Mhhhah,  _ Caleb _ ,” Essek whines brokenly, his hips jerking. Caleb grins, pulling back to take his own hit. Essek’s thighs twitch at the loss of stimulation but he doesn’t complain, watching Caleb confidently smoke. Caleb’s eyes flutter, glancing up at him through his lashes, and Essek grins, moving his hand down to touch himself. It’s not nearly the same as being touched by Caleb but it’s enough to keep that fire stoking in his belly, fueled by the haze of weed in his system. Caleb exhales a cloud of smoke and sets the bong on the bedside table again.

“Now, I believe I should probably get back to eating you out,  _ ja _ ?” He asks. It took a bit for Essek to notice, but his accent is definitely thicker when he’s stoned. It’s honestly pretty hot.

“Don’t let me stop you,” Essek says, spreading his legs and moving his hand back to propping himself up. With the initiative to continue, he slides back down to a more prone and comfortable position. Caleb smiles, hovering over him to kiss him again. The hand not holding him up finds its way into Essek’s bra, his thumb nudging at the barbell through Essek’s nipple. Essek chokes on another moan as Caleb gently plays with it, kissing him all the while. “You’re an insatiable man, Caleb Widogast,” Essek manages, jokingly scandalized. Caleb smiles, his expression practically dripping adoration.

“I have the most beautiful man in the world in my bed, it’s hard for me not to indulge.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Essek fumbles, unsure how to respond for a moment and defaulting to awkward denial. Caleb knows what that means, though-- knows the compliment has landed by the shy flush to Essek’s face and ears if nothing else. He smiles and kisses Essek again. Essek gives another small whimper as Caleb pinches his other nipple through the thin fabric. He keens, his head bowing back. Caleb, ever enticed by the smooth skin of Essek’s neck, moves from kissing Essek’s lips to kiss the hollow of his throat as he continues playing with Essek’s chest lazily. “Oh gods, Caleb,” he gasps.

“So gorgeous,” Caleb murmurs, pulling back a little.

“You’re not eating me out like you said, but more importantly in this moment, you still have too much clothing on,” Essek gripes, pushing at Caleb with bony elbows and knees. Caleb laughs.

“I just have my binder and underwear on,” he argues. Essek nods, sitting up a little more.

“Which is too much clothing. Unless you’re uncomfortable with being fully undressed right now, which I understand and I would retract my previous statements.” Caleb begins pulling his binder off.

“You sound like a lawyer,” he chuckles. “But  _ Nein _ , I’m alright being naked.”

“Please don’t compare me to Beauregard when we’re in bed,” Essek deadpans. Caleb can’t help but laugh, the sound muffled as he’s halfway trapped in his binder. “Need some help with that?” Caleb doesn’t answer, trying to stop laughing and make informed movements to disentangle himself from fabric at the same time, but it seems the hopeless prison of fabric he finds himself in just makes him laugh harder. “Did I kill the mood?” Essek asks, moving to help despite not getting an answer from Caleb yet. Caleb’s laughs start to fade as he takes deep gulps of breath, finally managing to pull his binder over his head. When he emerges, his eyes are watery and he swipes at them, grinning.

“No,” he croaks, still giving a wobbly little smile. “No, you didn’t kill the mood, I just need a second to stop laughing.” Essek grins, sympathizing with that feeling as he hands Caleb the bottle of water from the bedside to sip.

“Weed sometimes makes things seem funnier than they are,” he informs Caleb with as little condescension as possible.

“ _ Nein _ , what you said was just that funny,” Caleb insists. Essek smiles fondly, kissing him on the cheek as he drinks some water.

“Alright, dear,” Essek says unconvincingly, patting Caleb’s thigh. “Are you still good to go?” Caleb nods.  
  
“Let me get my underwear off and grab the harness,” Caleb says. Essek flushes, his ears flicking.

“The harness? Did you have plans other than eating me out?” Caleb had mentioned the toys but it seemed offhanded enough to not be worth note. Caleb nods eagerly, still giving that dopey grin as he starts to tug his underwear off. He’s pretty wet as well, some slick sticking to the fabric of his floral underwear, and Essek finds himself staring ardently at Caleb’s cock, poking flushed and hard from the thatch of ginger curls between his legs.

“Something I should be worried about? Or are you just ogling me?” Caleb asks, a soft smile on his face. Essek grins.

“Just ogling you.” He stretches a hand out, slipping his fingers slowly and curiously between Caleb’s legs. Caleb nods in a simple allowance of consent and Essek circles his fingers around Caleb’s cock, coaxing it from its hood and rubbing it in a jerking motion that makes Caleb’s legs shake. “You look so handsome when I do this.” Caleb laughs shakily.

“Sometimes I wish we’d been dating while I was first starting T,” he muses. “I was unbelievably horny back then, I almost matched your libido.” Essek rolls his eyes, pinching the head of Caleb’s cock in a way that makes him moan and stutter. Essek pulls his hand away.

“Would you like to repeat that?” he asks, quirking an eyebrow at Caleb, his voice cool with intimidation.

“You’re so mean,” Caleb gripes good-naturedly, unable to keep from smiling despite his attempt at admonishment.

“You know what you signed up for with me,” Essek counters. “If you didn’t like me being mean you wouldn’t reward me for being a brat.” Caleb chuckles.

“Only a masochist would see the things I do to you as rewards.”

“The shoe fits on that one,” Essek says. “So I won’t fault you for saying it scornfully.”

“Oh, not scorn, never scorn,” Caleb promises. “I like when you’re mean and I like when you’re a masochist. But tonight…” his hands move to Essek’s shoulders, gently pushing him down. Essek’s eyes blink rapidly and he flushes darker violet, allowing himself to be pushed down while revelling in the merciful power Caleb has over him. “Tonight I believe we were being gentle,  _ ja _ ?” Essek nods, his insides squirming pleasantly.

“Yes,” he says faintly. “Yes, we were.”

“ _ Gut _ ,” Caleb says sweetly. He crawls off the bed to rummage through their toy box while Essek lays there, slightly giddy off Caleb’s dominant intensity and the gentle lilt of his voice. “You’re very quiet, did I scare you into submission?”

“Hardly,” Essek retorts, though his voice cracks a little. He moves to take his sports bra off and tosses it off the side of the bed. Caleb turns around, toy and lube in hand, and nearly drops them, staring intently at Essek’s breasts. “Distracted?”

“Hardly,” Caleb echos. “Enamored would be a better word.” He drops the toy onto the bed and Essek barely gets the chance to see which one it is, but he recognizes it mostly by color-- a black dildo with a slight swirled texture down the shaft. It’s one of their more plain dildos and one they don’t use often. Essek often likes something much thicker, he’s adventurous with his tastes and prefers to test his own limits most of the time-- not to mention he’s a masochist. Tonight, though, Caleb seems to be keeping with the gentle and slow theme. Essek won’t begrudge him that. 

On a certain level, despite his bratty desire to be fucked hard and ruined, he loves when Caleb is gentle and sweet, and tonight that feels right. His knees and back hurt badly, his senses are fuzzy under the influence, and Caleb’s teasing touches are the perfect balm to all his frustrations this week. Normally he’d like to end a stressful week like this getting railed within an inch of his life but this feels fitting for the exact  _ type _ of stressful it’s been. Getting railed is a wonderful end to a week of stressing over his thesis, dealing with shitty undergrad kids messing up the lab equipment… things like that. This week, his mother got back in contact with Verin and wants to meet with the two of them and he… well. He isn’t really thrilled by the prospect of that. It’s been a while since he and Verin escaped her influence and he’s scared to be dragged in again. Their mother is like a black hole, and he fears that getting close to her again will destroy them both. The thought of it makes something gnaw sickeningly at his stomach. It feels like what he imagines being poisoned might feel like. He hasn’t mentioned it to Caleb yet… Caleb had a bit of a messy week of his own that he’s only sort of touched on with Essek. They can talk about it tomorrow over breakfast. Tonight, they’re both stoned and horny and in love and that’s all that really matters. 

Oh, and Caleb’s hands are on his tits, which, in hindsight, he shouldn’t be surprised about.

“Didn’t you play with them enough already?” he asks teasingly, his hand coming up to cup Caleb’s face. Caleb raises an eyebrow.

“Not while you’re naked,” he argues. “But I did promise you other things tonight, so I suppose I can redirect my attention.” Essek giggles, stroking his thumb across Caleb’s beard.

“I don’t  _ mind _ ,” he specifies. “You’re just always so intrigued by them.” Caleb shrugs slightly.

“They’re around the same size as my hands and your nipples are pierced,” he says simply. Essek supposes he needn’t say much more than that, it does explain a lot. Caleb’s chest is bigger than his, and while it doesn’t bother him much anymore in the dysphoria department, it still can put some strain on his shoulders and back-- Essek often rubs his shoulders when they watch movies together or while Caleb reads. He seems to enjoy the feeling and shape and weight of Essek’s, though, and perhaps that’s part of it, being able to hold them without overflow. Not to mention the fact that Essek honestly  _ likes _ his chest. He’s never had any issue with it-- flat enough to go without binding in most outfits but big enough to look flattering in certain outfits when he wants his chest to be more prominent.

Caleb has moved down to his cunt again, though, his head resting against Essek’s thigh.

“You seem to be getting lost in thought a lot,” he muses. No judgement in the statement, just acknowledgement. He doesn’t want to start again without Essek’s consent.

“Nothing bad,” Essek says. The smallest fraction of a lie in there, but he wasn’t thinking about his mother’s message this time, so he counts it as a full truth. “Just thinking about you, mostly.” He moves his hand down to Caleb’s face, thumbing gently at his lower lip.

“I am right here,” Caleb says, giving that wonderful smile again that makes Essek’s heart flutter. “You can think about me while I’m making you feel good,  _ ja _ ?”

“ _ Ja _ ,” Essek echos. “Please.” Caleb grins, kissing his thumb before ducking his head down and lapping at Essek again. He’s more intent this time and Essek isn’t sure if that’s a blessing or a curse. His undivided attention is enough to make Essek squirm, just on the edge of overstimulation, but Caleb finds a good balance between attention to his clit and cunt. He alternates between quick spikes of pleasure and slow, simmering gratification. Essek’s toes curl and he finds his hand in Caleb’s hair again. His other hand presses against the bed, the heel of his palm elevating him slightly, though he tries not to stay in such a position for long. “Caleb,” he gasps after a few minutes of this. “Caleb, I’m close.” Caleb doesn’t stop or pause or even acknowledge at all other than to double down on his ministrations. Essek whines, his legs twitching, and feels himself cresting his orgasm, building closer and closer until he’s cumming with a loud moan, his legs tightening around Caleb’s head just a little. He pets Caleb’s hair and Caleb doesn’t stop, most likely remembering what Essek said about being high giving him intense orgasms. “Caleb,  _ Caleb _ ,” he gasps. It almost hurts-- but he feels the orgasm drawn out, smoothly cresting into another that makes his body feel like it’s electric, his clit a single point of sensation as he ascends into weightless pleasure. 

When he comes to his senses a little more, Caleb is sitting back on his heels drinking water and looking pleased with himself. 

“Don’t look smug,” Essek croaks. “You know that orgasm a while coming and it took me off guard with its strength a little.” Caleb’s smile just softens, impossibly fond, and he gently strokes Essek’s knee. 

“You’re cute,” he says, and Essek would normally be inclined to argue or be bratty, but his voice is syrupy-sweet and Essek can’t bring himself to break that. 

“Shush,” he murmurs instead, embarrassed, before reaching out to Caleb. Caleb leans into his hand and he rubs his palm over Caleb’s cheek. “Come here. You’re so far away.”

“And you’re so demanding today,” Caleb chuckles. It has no bite to it, still that infinite fondness as he moves in closer to kiss Essek soft and languid. Essek groans softly into the kiss, tangling his fingers in Caleb’s hair.

“I’ll keep being demanding, since you mentioned fucking me and haven’t gotten to it yet,” Essek grouses. “But also… you’re high and you’ve barely even let me touch you yet. Assuming that you still want to, because if you don’t then I’m more than happy to end the night here.” Caleb shakes his head, smiling at Essek’s consistent checking-in.

“ _ Nein _ , I want to keep going,” he says. “It seemed to make you feel really good and I… I did say earlier I could tell how horny I was.” He turns a little pinker, the tips of his ears growing warm and red. “Would you like to see?” Essek grins. 

“I saw you earlier,” he says. “But I’ll never turn down an invitation like that. Show me what you’re packing, handsome.” Caleb giggles at the comfortable phrasing and wiggles himself into a better position, moving fingers down to spread himself a little. Essek whistles, low and appreciative, and slips his hand between Caleb’s legs again, gently stroking his cock and watching his face as it contorts with pleasure. He  _ loves _ watching Caleb’s expressions when he’s being touched-- he always stays sober for a moment, hesitant to open up, but when the neutral expression breaks he looks like a man in rapture. Essek tries not to think about other instances when he was touched by a hand less kind, less loving. He tries not to wonder if Caleb sometimes still expects that when Essek touches him-- to be controlled rather than adored. And gods, does Essek adore him. He moves his free hand to Caleb’s hip, rubbing slow circles with his thumb. “That’s it,” he murmurs, watching Caleb’s expressions. Caleb chuckles, breathless.

“You’re going to give me performance anxiety staring at me like that,  _ Schatz _ ,” he whispers, cracking an eye open. 

“There’s no performance, just us,” Essek says, even if he knows Caleb is joking. Caleb’s smile grows wider.

“I know,” he says. “Thank you.” He doesn’t need to say what for, because they both know. Essek has half a mind to thank him too, most of the time. 

“Save the gratitude for  _ after _ I make you cum, Widogast,” Essek purrs, bringing the conversation back around. After all, he does still have his fingers stroking Caleb’s cock. It seems improper to let the conversation wander too far. Caleb gives a small laugh that trails off into a whine as Essek presses his thumb hard against the sensitive head of Caleb’s cock. His other fingers trail through the wetness just behind it and Caleb’s face and chest turn rosy as he glances down, watching Essek’s hand move, working him closer and closer to orgasm.

“It--  _ ah _ \-- seems you’re intent on making me--  _ oh, fuck _ ...” he takes a moment to steady his words, finding them wobbly and tripping over themselves on his tongue as pleasure makes his thighs tremble. Essek can see the muscles in his abdomen clenching slightly, that tight coiled sensation as pleasure mounts. “I-intent on making me cum--  _ mmh--  _ before I can  _ f-fuck _ \-- fuck you?” He rocks his hips unconsciously into Essek’s hand, chasing the interspersed spikes of heightened sensation that sing through his body like fireworks. 

“Was that not obvious?” Essek asks coyly. Caleb opens his mouth to respond but chokes on a loud moan, his body bowing inward a little. He catches himself on Essek’s shoulders, pressing his forehead against Essek’s. Essek doesn’t stop, sensing he’s nearing his peak, instead insistently rubbing his thumb against Caleb’s cockhead, feeling the way the hood drags against it when he changes the direction of his circles. He tilts his head up slightly to kiss Caleb and it only takes a few more minutes before Caleb is groaning into his mouth, his cunt spasming and cock twitching against Essek’s fingers. 

“ _ F-fuck, _ ” he sobs. “Essek, Essek,  _ Essek. _ ”

“I’ve got you,” Essek breathes, kissing him and continuing to gently stroke him as he comes down, shivering slightly. There’s a long moment of silence, only broken by Caleb’s heavy breathing.

“You weren’t kidding,” Caleb says quietly, his forehead still pressed against Essek’s so they’re sharing breath. “That’s intense.” Essek giggles. “Why haven’t you asked me to eat you out when you were high before?” There’s a moment’s pause. “I mean… I know why you haven’t. But I wouldn’t mind making a little bit of a habit of this, it’s nice.” Essek smiles softly.

It’s a hard feeling to put into words, but it’s… nice to be able to share this part of his life with Caleb. Smoking isn’t part of his identity by any means, but it’s always been a positive thing for him, and he’s always worried that Caleb held it at arm’s length and was afraid of it. It was never really an issue of trust, more just… knowing that Caleb would rather not think about this part of him made him worried that someday he might have to compromise. Even if he knows Caleb would never make him do that… he’d take Caleb over almost anything, now. He loves him, body and soul, and if that meant adjusting his life in some way or another to accommodate for Caleb’s trauma, he would try his hardest. But this way… he knows they’re good. He knows this is something he can talk more openly about, offer Caleb a hit every once in a while. He still intends to check in, of course, but it’s one less thing to nag at the back of his head, in the grand scheme. 

“I’d love to make a bit of a habit of it,” he muses, sitting back against the pillows now. Caleb has started awkwardly attempting to pull the harness on without having to stand up and seems to be failing. Essek stretches his legs out and groans slightly. He was distracted by Caleb, but stretching reminds him of the ache in his hips. “You’re going to have to be gentle with me, as much as asking for that goes against my very nature.” Caleb laughs, his face bright and happy, his cheeks pink with both mirth and effort as he finally manages to wriggle into the harness. 

“You make a very cute masochist,” he says. “But I will be very gentle today. Will it make up for it if I call you filthy things?” Essek considers it briefly, then pouts and shakes his head.

“That will just make me beg you to fuck me harder,” he says honestly. “It’s better if you’re sweet.” Caleb nods, slipping the cock into the o-ring of the harness.

“I can be sweet,” he says. There’s always this tinge of ‘eager to please’ energy that he gives off when he’s first strapped into the harness that makes Essek’s heart soft. He’s precious, honestly, and Essek tries his hardest to cherish every part of him. 

“I know you can, darling.” He holds up a finger to pause and grabs the bong from the side table, holding it up in a questioning gesture. Caleb nods, sitting back on his heels as Essek takes his hit. Caleb takes it from him, taking a bit hit and coughing a little. He sets it back on the table. “Now, just warning you that that might make you a little clumsy. Also, we should probably use some lube.” Caleb nods and Essek can practically see the exclamation point over his head.

“Oh,  _ ja, ja, _ ” he says, having forgotten. He grabs the bottle from where he left it on the bed and drizzles some lube over the toy, coating it. “Do you need me to prep you?” Essek shakes his head, spreading his folds for Caleb invitingly.

“I’m okay,” he says, smiling softly. “I’m really wet, I just wanted you to use lube just to make sure. I don’t want  _ you _ to worry.” 

“We are both checking in with each other a lot more than usual,” Caleb chuckles, wiping his hands off on a tissue from the box by their bed before tossing it off the side of the bed and pulling his hair back into a high ponytail. He must have grabbed a hair tie when he got up for the harness, though Essek hadn’t realized it was on his wrist.

“We’re stoned. I’d rather know for sure than assume and be wrong and fuck something up,” Essek says. Caleb nods, moving between Essek’s legs.

“That’s a fair policy, I think,” he says. He begins to carefully slip the head inside Essek. Essek wants to be snarky in response, but he’s caught by surprise as he whimpers, his hands coming up to cup Caleb’s shoulders from behind. It takes a bit of careful directing-- Caleb slips out at first as he directs the head wrong and it rubs hard against Essek’s still-sensitive clit.

“Careful there,” Essek murmurs, moving one hand down to help direct Caleb inside.

“ _ Entschuldigung _ ,” Caleb says, a little embarrassed, “I got excited.” Essek shudders slightly as the head slips back inside him, then gasps quietly as Caleb starts to push in more of his own accord. 

“That’s okay,” Essek sighs, moving his leg slightly to give Caleb more leverage. “Me too. Go a little slower, though?” Caleb nods, adjusting immediately. Perhaps it’s because he’s high, but Essek notices a more marked difference in speed than Caleb would usually adjust to while sober. He’s so careful it’s almost agonizing, but Essek is loath to tell him to go faster when he has that adorable look of intense concentration on his face. A few strands of auburn hair fall in his eyes and Essek tucks them back behind his ear. “Feels good,” he murmurs. Caleb smiles and his hands move from Essek's hips to his waist. Essek gasps slightly. Caleb is not a big man per say-- he’s tall, surely, but not broad-- but he has wonderfully large hands and when they’re around Essek's waist they always make him feel so small and safe and held. Caleb knows this but he holds back the self-satisfied smirk about it this time.

Caleb bottoms out with a gentle sort of finality, letting out a soft sigh. He leans down to kiss Essek slowly and gently. 

“Still feel good?” He confirms. Essek nods.

“Really good,” he says. “I can’t believe I get to have you inside me for the first time in a while and I have to tell you to be gentle.” Caleb chortles, his forehead resting against Essek’s again. 

“I know, darling. But it’s been a stressful week and I don’t want to hurt you when you’re already in pain.” Essek nods. He can’t think of a way to respond that doesn’t sound ungrateful-- because he is, ultimately, so grateful for Caleb and for whatever form his love for Essek takes, whether it’s rubbing pain-relief lotion into Essek’s hips or railing him into oblivion or, he supposes, gentle sex while they’re both still quite buzzed. It turns out not to matter, though, because his words are stolen from him as Caleb starts to move. Even slow and gentle, Caleb knows how to make Essek feel good, rolling his hips in a motion that twists the textured cock inside Essek and drags against his walls. There’s not a lot of friction, wet as he is already and helped by the lube, but it doesn’t matter as Caleb starts to get into a rhythm, back and forth, gentle but firm. Essek gasps and writhes, resisting the urge to wrap his legs around Caleb’s hips. He loves doing that, especially when Caleb is fucking him hard, but he can’t now because the motion and position would hurt his hips. He does opt to wrap his arms around Caleb’s neck, though, and that feels nice. One of Caleb’s hands is still around his waist but the other has moved to play with his nipple again and he whimpers at the dual sensation.

“Caleb,” he gasps. “I’m--  _ oh _ \-- I’m close!” Caleb chuckles, leaning down to kiss his shoulder as he moves his hips a little harder-- not faster, just a little deeper, smooth and intense.

“That was fast.” He gently smacks the back of Caleb’s shoulder.

“Oh, be quiet,” he grouches, though he still kisses the top of Caleb’s head when it bobs into reach. “You know it doesn’t take much to get me there.” 

“I know,” Caleb says, moving his head up to lock eyes with Essek. “And I like that about you.” Essek blushes, reflexively hiding his face in his hands. He’s not sure why but it’s always somewhat embarrassing to be addressed and looked at so openly when he’s being fucked. “You’re so cute,” Caleb giggles, trying to kiss him under the protective mask of his hands.

“Nooo,” Essek whines in an exaggerated sarcastic voice. “Shut up and fuck me, I’m too high to get emotional right now.” Caleb laughs and continues with that same deep but gentle rhythm. Essek’s orgasm crests slower this time, even if he’d suspected he was close a minute ago. Caleb seems to note his impatience and moves the hand that had been fondling his breast down between his legs.

“Gods, you’re wet,” Caleb teases, the rough pad of his thumb rubbing against Essek’s clit. Essek swallows a moan and twitches his hips up into Caleb’s hand.

“A… a little higher?  _ Oh, f-fucking hells, _ ” he groans. “Y-yeah, that--  _ ah _ \-- that ha-happens when you’re being f-fucked.” Caleb smiles, pressing a little harder into the perfect spot, and Essek makes a wounded noise, his thighs twitching before he tightens them around Caleb’s, cumming hard and clenching down tight around the cock inside him. “ _ Ohh, _ ” he gasps. He lets out a tired huff, boneless and happily exhausted in the wake of his orgasm.

“So beautiful,” Caleb murmurs, kissing Essek’s chest, collarbones and neck as he comes down from his climax. Essek sighs softly, arching his back into a sort of lazy stretch. 

“Mmm, did you cum yet, dear?” Caleb shakes his head, still kissing Essek’s chest. “Well that won’t do, pull out of me and I’ll help you finish.” Caleb grins lazily, pulling out slowly. They can both hear the wet noise as Caleb pulls out of him and Essek has half a mind to cover his face in embarrassment again. “Are you close enough that I can use the strap as an aid?” Essek asks, tilting his head. Caleb bites his lip and nods, looking down at the cum-stained dildo between his legs. It’s one of the ones with a ribbed base that presses against Caleb’s cock, Essek knows, so stimulating it could push Caleb over the edge. “Perfect,” Essek purrs. 

He wraps his fingers around the dildo and strokes it like a proper cock, jostling it in the harness in a way that rubs against Caleb, making him gasp and buck into Essek’s hand. There’s something intriguing and filthy about jerking Caleb off via a dildo covered in Essek’s own cum and it makes a pleasant warmth pool in his gut. Not enough to get him ready for another round, just enough to make the lovely buzz of his stoned afterglow that much more wonderful. It doesn’t take long for Caleb to cum either, his legs shaking around Essek’s, toes curling and mouth gaping as he lets out a soft moan. He goes slightly limp for a moment before deciding to take the harness off. He lays it and the dildo on the bedside table next to the bong before laying down against Essek.

“That was absolutely _ wunderbar, _ ” he murmurs, nestling sleepily into Essek’s neck. Essek laughs softly, turning his head to the side to kiss Caleb on the lips.

“We should get up and get cleaned and everything,” he says. It comes out a little slurred.

“I don’t think--” Caleb interrupts himself with a yawn. “I don’t think we  _ have _ to. It’s just the one time and I am terribly sleepy.” Essek nods, reaching to the other bedside table to turn off the lamp, plunging them into darkness save for the stars and moon through the window. Frumpkin hops up onto the bed, having come in at some point after they finished, and curls up at Caleb’s feet.

“I suppose I can’t argue with that logic.” He pulls Caleb closer, wrapping limbs around him in an effort to get more comfortable. Caleb’s body is wonderfully warm, radiating heat as Essek pulls up the sheets to cover them a little. Best to have at least a shred of decency in case one of their friends decides to pop in unannounced-- as has happened before. He kisses Caleb clumsily on the head, feeling Caleb’s arms adjust to drape more comfortably over his abdomen. “I love you, Caleb,” he murmurs drowsily. He waits, listening to the velvety press of silence. He hears a quiet snore and laughs, pleased to find Caleb has drifted off already. “Goodnight, Caleb,” he murmurs. He closes his eyes and joins Caleb in a restful night.

**Author's Note:**

> Zemnian Translations:  
> Schatz - Treasure  
> Danke - Thank you  
> Nein - No  
> Scheiße - Shit/Fuck  
> Liebchen - Sweetheart  
> Entschuldigung - Sorry/Excuse Me  
> Wunderbar - Wonderful
> 
> Comments and kudos are highly appreciated!


End file.
